💙Happy 17th Birthday Bradey!!!
Science has proven that there are cells of a child that persist in a mothers body and stay in circulation, resting in her organs and brain throughout life. This may explain why a mother can "feel" her children even when they are far away or physically out of reach. My children are mostly grown, but I still feel their joy or pain and it can even be symptomatic as I listen to them describe their feelings; or even when they are not speaking to me, I always seem to "know" when they need help or a loving voice to connect with. I can still feel them -- their vibration on the earth is like a pulse in my veins that is ever-present, yet undetectable to the human ear or eye. I can not feel Bradey -- he is gone. I feel the "lack of him". I feel the hole inside my soul, he is absent. The link is broken and the epic sadness of his missing soul is what I feel. I only had him for the 9 months that he was growing inside me, but while he grew into a person I was there... singing him to sleep and whispering prayers over him while I lightly held my belly as if he could feel my hand on his body bringing him a vibratiion of Peace and Love. While God knitted his organs together and created his being.... I was there, feeling each new day and growth. The spark inside me -- the growing soul. The promise of life, hope and a new era. Bradey represented a turning point in my life and I was so excited for his birth. The culmination of my promise from God - a 4th pillar in the Warrior crew I had prayed for. I was determined to stand strong in the battle and fight! I asked God to bring me a crew of boys that I could raise to be Warriors like me - to fight the good fight and stand with me against the injustice and epic darkness of my wayward husband. 4 sons was the blessing I had dreamed of, the crew of boys that would have my back always - the promise I believed God gave me and my Destiny.... then, the darkness came.
He was stolen from me, I felt him ripped away. The moment his soul left my body, I screamed for help..... but it was too late, they could not save him. These moments are etched in my brain and body. My heart beat slows down almost to a stop as I remember the paralyzing feeling of being told.... 'he is gone'.
Fast forward... 17 years later. I sit at my laptop imagining what my Bradey boy would be doing if he were with me today. A Junior in High School - playing sports - annoying his brothers while giving me fits - and then wrapping me up with joy and laughter all at the same time. I have this picture of him in my mind...
- Sparkling green eyes with curly blond hair
- Short of course (both mom and dad are small people) but stocky and strong.
- Built tough in nature, ready for anything
- A little tormentive and whimsical;
- Brash and reckless
- Mom's treasure,bringing me laughter and joy each day
- Full of courage
- Generous in nature
- Fiercely loyal
- Not afraid of any challenge
