Soul Windows

Im not sure what I want to write about today.... turmoil, joy, tears, broken hearts, hope, rivers of thoughts flow through my head as I stand looking into the windows of my soul.  Im staring in, like an outsider to my own soul and finding that there are many different rooms. Some rooms have shade and i can't see everything inside, some are bright and sunny- hope lives there with promise of future happy days. Each room contains not only where I've been, but the wonder of things undiscovered there. My mind battles through the hallways of all that is contained in this "virtual house of Angie". It seems as if it would be easy to navigate the places that I've been before, but the clouds of sadness dampen my abilitiy to see past the boxes that have been stacked up in those rooms of days gone by. My heart is weary and my mind it tired of constantly trying to figure out how to move forward. Why can't I just admit that Im having a hard time and sit down!? I am always pressing toward the future and pushing for change....

So today- I'm still. Just feeling the moments. Bridging the gap between reality today and what 'was'. Allowing myself to be honest and feel some of the things that I typically ignore and hide. Time will give me a moment.... God gives me breath..... and I'm just feeling my way through today.